Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Love is Sweeter the Second Time Around

Tulad ng ibang magkasintahan, on and off din sina Inday at Dodong. Nagbreak sila noong una pero nagkabalikan din. Nang makakuha ng tamang pagkakataon ay binigyang laya nila ang kanilang nag-aalab na damdamin para sa isa't isa.

"I never thought it felt that good! I was vertically fixed against the wall, with my left left leg obliquely upward. I felt his huge, hot rod thrust against mine. Then I almost passed out in exhilirating rapture", ang maiden blog entry ni Inday, 1st sex nila ni Dodong sa likod ng pinto ng servant's quarter. Wala kasing amo kaya nakagamit siya ng internet.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Ang mga kontrabida sa buhay ni Inday

Lingid sa kaalaman ni Inday, may isang kaluluwang nagngingitngit sa galit sa kanya -- si Rosing ang katulong ng kanilang kapitbahay.

"She thinks she's the only homosapien who can utter such euphonic and erudite statements! She better think again!", bigkas nito habang nagpupuyos sa galit.

Ngunit hindi 'yon naging hadlang sa katuparan ng mga pangarap ni Inday.

One day, Katrina Halili went to FHM, to see if she's still the #1. She picked a mag and read it, After she had read, tinapon niya ang magazine sabay sigaw:

"Punyeta! Sino si Inday!?"

Nasindak ang lahat dahil si Inday na pala ang nangunguna sa FHM.

Kabanata II - Si Inday Bongga Na!

Makalipas ang ilang buwang paninilbihan ni Inday sa kanyang amo, napagpasyahan niyang humingi ng dagdag na sahod.

"In accordance to the Labor Law of the Republic of the Philippines , all services rendered should be given just compensation… In relation, it is mandated by law than an incentive be given according to the length of his/her service in the said establishment or in this residence", katwiran niya.

Dahil sa takot na baka idemanda ni Inday ang amo, binigay agad nito ang hinihinging dagdag sahod ni Inday.

Halos mamatay naman sa inggit ang kanilang labandera. "In this world, what you orate gives a reflection of your inner self, your soul… Though I have nothing against your wisdom and philosophical approaches, it seems that I see a certain clash between our thoughts and your projected manners. You seem to be flaccid sometimes a propos the way you establish a persiflage, and honestly it gives ennui to my work now making me an otiose person…", sabi ni Manang Labandera habang naka-rolleyes pa.

Ipinagkibitbalikat lamang ni Inday ang tinuran ng labandera. Nang sumapit ang Linggo, ang araw ng pahinga, nagpaalam si Inday para magday-off.

Inday: Physical stress and excessive work may result to serious damage to one's body. It is therefore essential that once in a while, we take a break from our usual routine to replenish our lost energy.

Amo: Lintek ka! Humingi ka na nga ng increase, may nalalaman ka pang day-off bruha ka! $#@^@$^!

Walang nagawa ang Inday, nanatili lamang siya sa bahay nang biglang maulinigan niya ang isang pulubi sa gate.

"Off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such unabashed display of vagrant destitution!", pagtataboy niya dito. Umalis naman ang pulubi at di na nangulit pa.

Pumasok siya sa loob ng bahay at hinanap ang isang bagay. Bagay na tumutulong na mapanatili ang makinis niyang kutis -- ang Chin Chun Su.

"The oil normalizing series specifically designed for my oily skin not only works physically on the skin surface, but penetrates deep into the skin layers to shine-free and #8194, normalize oil secretions for a healthy and long-lasting skin", bulong niya sa sarili habang nagpapahid ng Chin Chun Su.

Kinahapunan noo'y dumating ang mga bisita ng kanyang amo. Nang dalhan niya ito ng inumin ay kaagad na napansin ang mala-porselana niyang kutis.

AMO #1: Inday, ano ang gamit mo sa katawan? Ang kinis mo kasi, eh!
AMO #2: Siguro, gumagamit ka ng papaya…
AMO #1: Baka naman kalamansi?
INDAY: No! Only Belo touches my skin! Who touches yours?

Kapag May Usok, May Sumabog!

Nang minsang gumamit si Inday ng microwave, sa di inaasahang pangyayari ay bigla na lamang itong sumabog...

Amo: Ano ka ba naman Inday!? Marunong ka ngang mag-ingles, paggamit lang nitong microwave, hindi mo naman alam! Olats ka rin pala eh!

Inday: Success is often the result of taking a misstep in the right direction. Show me a person who has never made a mistake and I'll show you somebody who has never achieved much.

Amo: [Hinimatay]

Mang Tomas

AMO: Inday! Nabalitaan mo ba ang nangyari kay Mang Tomas? Bumili ng nakaw na cellphone. Nakulong kahit inosente siya.

INDAY: Ganu'n talaga `yun, ati…

AMO: Aba'y nagmamarunong ka na ngayon, ha?!

INDAY: According to the provisions of the law on obligations and contracts, in that case, the law has the presumption that, `Ignorance of the law excuses no one from compliance thereof.'

AMO: Ay, ganu'n?!

Ang Pagsibol ng Damdamin ni Inday Para kay Dodong

Di nagla-on, dahil sa tyaga ni Dodong, nagging syota nya rin si Inday. Pero di tumagal ang kanilang relasyon, at nakipag-break si Inday ke Dodong.

Inday: The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocations. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love
you. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition!"

Dodong: Perhaps you are mistaken, what you seem to contrive as any
affections for you are somewhat half-hearted. I was merely attempting to expand my network of interests by involving you in my daily recreation. Heretofor, you can expect an end to any verbal articulation from myself"


Me dumaan na mamang basurero, at narinig ang usapan ni Inday at Dodong.

Basurero (sabi ke Inday): Be careful in letting go of the things you
thought are just nothing because maybe someday you'll realize that the one you gave away is the very thing you've been wishing for to stay.

Narinig ang lahat ng eto ng amo ni inday.

Amo: [
nosebleed]

Kabanata I - Bagong Salta sa Maynila

Dahil sa tindi ng kahirapan sa probinsya, namasukan si Inday bilang katulong sa Maynila. Habang ini-interview ng amo…

Amo: Kelangan namin ng katulong para mag ayos ng bahay, magluto, maglaba, magplantsa, mamalengke, at magbantay ng mga bata. Kaya mo ba ang lahat ng ito?

Inday: I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of the work that you want, my creativity, productivity and work-efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress.

Amo: [nosebleed]

Nakaraan ang dalawang araw, umuwi ang amo, nakitang me bukol si junior.

Amo: Bakit me bukol si junior?

Inday: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.

Amo: [nosebleed ulit]


Kinagabihan, habang naghahapunan.

Amo: Bakit maalat ang ulam?

Inday: The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased amount of sodium chloride (NaCl) affected the taste drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize.

Amo: [nosebleed na naman]

Donya: Bakit tuwing paguwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng tv?!

Inday: Because I don't want you to see me doing absolutely nothing.

Donya: [hinimatay]


Kinabukasan, sinamahan ni Inday si junior sa principal's office dahil di makapunta ang amo at donya.

Principal: Sinuntok ni junior ang kanyang kaklase.

Inday: It's absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight I can only imagine how you handle schizophrenic kids on this educational institution. Revise your policies because they suck!

Principal: [nag resign]


Pag dating sa bahay, nandun na ang amo, galit na galit.

Amo: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!

Inday: A change in the weather patterns might have occurred wrecking havoc to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was heading for.

Amo: [nosebleed ulit]


Habang nagluluto si Inday ng hapunan, malikot si junior.

Inday: Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound to result in property damages and if that happens there will be corresponding punishment to be inflicted upon you!

Junior: [takbo sa CR, pinunasan ang nagdudugong ilong]


Pagkatapos magluto, nanood na ng TV si Inday. Nabalitaan nya umalis si Angel Locsin sa GMA 7.

Junior: Bakit kaya sya umalis?

Inday: Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but because they just know that things will get worse if they'll stay. Leaving can be a tough act, and it's harder when people can't understand you for doing so.

Junior: [tuloy ang pagdugo ng ilong]


Nung gabing yon, me nag text ke Inday. Si Dodong, ang driver ng kapitbahay, gusto maki pag text-mate.

Inday: To forestall further hopes of acquaintance, my unfathomable statement to the denial of your request - Petition denied.